The Top 3 Ways to Improve Bad Listening at Work

How to Handle Bad Listening at Work
Unfortunately, bad listening at work is the norm, not the exception.  According to the University of Southern California, the average person retains only about half of what people say to them immediately after a conversation; after 48 hours, the retention drops another 50 percent.  With 75% of what we say being forgotten in 48 hours, it is no wonder that we keep hearing leaders say, “But I have told them 100 times!”

The Impact of Bad Listening at Work
We know from organizational culture assessment data that bad listening at work can have negative consequences on the people AND the business:

• Misunderstandings
  Overall, poor listening can lead to both large and small misunderstandings between co-workers and among teams. The stress of work is challenging enough without missing crucial details, making faulty assumptions, or misinterpreting vital information.
• Damaged Work Relationships and Trust
  We know from employee engagement survey data that when people feel heard, they are more likely to trust their organization, their leaders, and their coworkers. Poor listening can erode relationships and decrease overall team engagement due to a perceived lack of interest, understanding, buy-in, or respect.
• Poor Decisions
  We know from decision making training best practices that poor listening can lead to poor decisions. Effective decisions require effective listening to not only gather enough information but to frame the context of the decision being made. Effective listening is necessary for decisions to be well defined and communicated in a way that creates lasting commitment and follow through.
• Reduced Productivity and Innovation
  Poor listening can also lead to reduced productivity, efficiency, and innovation with both internal stakeholders and external customers. We know form project postmortem feedback that it is hard to make continuous improvement and get work done in a way that makes sense when people do not feel fully heard.

Why It Is Hard to Be a Good Listener and The Top 3 Things to Do About It
We know from leadership simulation assessment data that being a good listener is a rare commodity. While most people understand the importance of active listening, few can consistently practice it. Why is it so difficult to be a good listener? The answer lies in a combination of psychological and social factors that impede our ability to truly focus on others.

1. Feeling Cognitive Overload
   
   The Problem:
   Too many employees report feeling like their brains are being constantly bombarded with information, making it difficult to concentrate on any single conversation or new piece of information. Combined with the perceived pressure of needing to multi-task to complete deliverables, employees often find themselves thinking about their next task, deadline, or phone notifications. A drifting attention makes it difficult to grasp important details or the deeper meaning of what is being communicated.

   What to Do About It:
   Tune into the other person. We know from communication essentials training that good listening requires more than just hearing words; it requires fully engaging with the speaker and processing not just the content, but the underlying emotions and context. If you want to be a better listener, make a conscious decision to be present in every conversation.  Make eye contact, be curious, ask thoughtful questions, and reflect back you are hearing and feeling.

2. Wanting to Advocate Instead of Understand
   
   The Problem:
   One of the most common barriers to effective listening is the natural tendency to think about our own response rather than the speaker’s message. In conversations, especially during high stakes debates or conflicts, people tend to prioritize formulating their rebuttal instead of fully absorbing what the other person is trying to say.

   By focusing on what we plan to say next, we tune out parts of the conversation, resulting in misunderstandings and missed opportunities for a deeper understanding and connection. Becoming a good listener requires the discipline to pause the impulse to advocate and instead place full attention on the speaker’s words and feelings before responding.

   What to Do About It:
   Talk less. Have a genuine interest in others, acknowledge that you may not have all the answers, and show a willingness to learn.  Then pay close attention to their words, body language, and emotions.  Unless they ask, do not try to solve the problem, or offer advice. The goal is for the speaker to feel like they have the space to be fully heard and understood.

3. Having and Emotional Reaction
   
   The Problem:
   Conversations at work, especially high stakes conversations, often carry emotional weight. When a conversation triggers strong emotions or challenges our beliefs, it can become difficult to listen objectively. Our natural response is to defend our position, shut down, or react impulsively, which can cloud our ability to truly understand what the other person is trying to communicate.

   What to Do About It:
   Being a good listener means managing emotional reactions and staying even keeled, especially in challenging situations. This requires emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and a conscious effort to remain open to what is being said, regardless of how it makes you feel. To be a good listener, you must make it about them, not you.

The Bottom Line
While it may seem straightforward, listening is a skill that requires conscious effort and consistent practice. Do not underestimate the mental energy and stamina required to truly listen attentively. Active listening involves not just hearing the words but also interpreting non-verbal cues, paying attention to tone, and considering context.

To learn more about how to be a better communicator, download Effective Communication Skills – The Essential Ingredient in Any Interaction